Stop Making Assumptions

I was talking to a friend last night and it made me realize how much people assume about people with any mental health condition really. In my case it mostly applies to my autism, but I believe this could apply to anyone with a mental health condition. While some of us do prefer to be alone, a lot of us want social interaction and just don't know how to have it.

My friend and I hadn't talked in a few years and they made a comment about how my life has not changed much day to day and how I don't want as much of a social life. This made me more aware of something I already suspected. People do not realize how hard we are trying to have a normal life. If someone who is autistic is quiet, they may just be shy and not know what to say. This especially applies to those of us who have lower support needs. A lot of us don't feel "autistic enough" to fit in with other autistic people and do not feel "neurotypical enough" to fit in with neurotypical people.

This may come off as more of a vent or life update, but I believed it needed to be addressed. I wanted to add that just because it looks like I am not doing anything with my life doesn't mean I don't want to be. I would love to be able to work, go to school, or hang out with friends. Unfortunately, little things like not being able to drive at night, struggling with social interaction, and struggling to count money make these hard. It makes it even harder for me because I have multiple mental health conditions and one of them is psychosis. I can suddenly fall into episodes where I lose touch with reality and it's scary. A lot of people will not be understanding of that.

Also, just because it looks like someone isn't doing anything doesn't mean they aren't. There are days where I would rather end my life than get up. The fact that I get up every day is an achievement to me. It probably looks like laziness to some people, but to me it's one of the hardest things I do everyday.

I feel that my life has changed a lot in the past few years. I was baker acted 3 times one year and now it's been 4 years since I have had any kind of major crisis. I have had days where I feel just as bad, but I am able to manage it, which is an improvement. I may not be working or in school, but that is what is working for me at the moment until I can figure out my mental health. I do still talk to some friends. A lot of them just got busy and that's life.

I want people to know that those of us with mental health conditions are aware of what's going on around us and are interested in having a future. It just may take longer for us. This applies to anyone. A lot of my friends also have mental health conditions and they are not all the same as mine. They vary a lot.

I will add that there are people that do find comfort in being alone, but some people appreciate the attempt to socialize with them. It seems like people avoid a lot of us with mental health conditions because we are "too much" when we have meltdowns or "crazy" when we are going through a BPD or psychotic episode. I am not saying no one cares, but it seems like people assume and think they know what we want. I am tired of having my mental health defined for me. I'm the one living it.

I know this turned into a bit of a vent, but my point is to not assume that what you see is the whole picture. Everyone is unique and most people want some form of connection with others. Instead of assuming, ask us. I would rather have someone ask if I want to talk and it be a little awkward than completely ignore me because you assumed. I appreciate directness personally. That might not apply to everyone, but when it comes to me, please ask me questions. I am happy to answer and educate people as much as I can. Thank you for listening to me. I really needed to say this.