Rejection Sensitivity

Rejection sensitivity is common in BPD. It is not a requirement; however, most of us diagnosed experience it due to past trauma and fear of abandonment. Rejection sensitivity is perceived or real rejection. This could be things like being ignored (perceived) or someone leaving and telling you, you are "too much" (real).

It can be difficult to work due to reviews. The smallest negative feedback can cause us to spiral into depression or anger. Some people lash out and some people overthink because they feel like they are not good enough now. Getting positive feedback from someone else can help a little, but it will still be in the back of their mind. This is perceived rejection because it is just constructive criticism, but we take it as us being rejected and people not liking us.

An example of actual rejection can be a group of people making plans with you, then you find out they all went together without you after inviting you without telling you. This could lead to splitting. If you do not know what splitting is, I will link my post about it below. It is all or nothing thinking. Basically, someone is all good or all bad. Someone may get really defensive, but once they calm down, they are okay with you again.

Perceived rejection can be being ignored. We know that the person may just be busy, but it still feels like we are being ignored. It is hard for us to relate because we try not to ignore people regardless of what we are doing. I know there is not really anything anyone can do about this, but it is important to be aware of it at least.

In some cases, we may even split on ourselves. This could look like us telling ourselves we are not good enough, we are worthless, or nobody likes us. We may be fine later in the day once we have calmed down, but in the moment it is really difficult. In my case, it may take me hours to calm down.

Unfortunately, criticism and rejection are part of life and there is not much we can do about it. If you feel like you have to have a talk with someone with BPD, remember they probably need to be reminded they are doing well overall. We do not want to be a burden, but we feel like it when we get negative feedback. Even perceived rejection is very difficult for us. Keep in mind when talking to someone with BPD we do not want to be difficult. We are just a little more sensitive than the average person.

splitting post: https://www.fiftyshadesofjade.com/post/what-is-splitting-in-bpd