Mental Health Stigma

Mental health stigma is not always obvious. I wanted to go over some phrases that are common in mental health. They may not seem harmful, but they can dismiss how a person is feeling when they are used. Here are a few phrases to stop using when talking about mental health.

1. "You're being dramatic."

   Telling someone they are being dramatic can be dismissive. Most of the time a person is not trying to be dramatic. It could be a trauma response or simply have to do with their mental health condition. This also goes hand in hand with telling someone they are overreacting. Phrases like these may make someone feel like they are "too much" of a person and that they are an inconvenience.

   
   

2. "Others have it worse."

   I hear this used a lot to try to make people feel better. While it may be true; comparing people will never solve anything. Telling someone that someone else has it worse is like telling them their problems do not matter. Everyone's feelings matter. The issue may seem small to one person, but huge to the one going through it. It may be the hardest thing they have ever had to go through. Never compare someone to someone else. Especially someone with a mental health condition.

3. "Just relax, you're fine."

   This is like telling someone who is mad to "calm down". It never works. In face, it usually makes things worse. In the moment that someone is going through something, they need patience. Telling them they are fine, when they are not fine makes it seem like you expect them to be perfect. A person under stress cannot "just relax". They need time.

4. "You're being ungrateful"

   I hear this a lot too. If someone is quiet or has an attitude it doesn't mean they are ungrateful. They might just be overstimulated or stressed out in the moment. Not everyone shows how grateful they are in the same way. I am someone who does not really express how I am feeling, but that's just how I am. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate the people around me. I probably do more than they realize.

5. "Choose happiness."

   Mental health conditions are not a choice. They may be caused by different factors, but they are not a choice. I hear this the most with depression. Someone who is depressed may have struggled to get out of bed and they don't want to hear it. They just want someone to understand them. They may rarely experience happiness and they cannot help it. An emotion is not a choice. We need to understand that about mental health.

6. "It's all in your head."

   I hear this a lot with anxiety. It can be true. Anxiety is our mind playing games with us and it is in our head, but telling us doesn't help. We are already fighting it in our head. While the anxiety is in our head; the way we feel about it is not. The stress is caused us is not. That is a valid feeling that we have to live with every day. Our reactions to our anxiety are not in our head.

I understand that people are trying to make us feel better with some of these phrases, but most of the time they make things worse. Everyone has a different opinion and in some cases people may agree, but I know personally I struggle with these. Please try to use other words of encouragement instead. People with mental health need patience and understanding more than anything else. They do not need comparison or people trying to tell them how to feel. Some better responses to mental health conditions are these:

1. "What does that look like for you?"

2. "What helps you the most when you are under stress?"

3. "How does your mental health condition affect you personally?"

4. "Let me know if there is anything I can do."

These questions give the person with the mental health condition a chance to express themselves. Instead of assuming, ask. I know I would much rather have someone ask me these questions than have someone tell me how I am supposed to feel. This also leaves it up to the person to give as much or as little detail as possible. I hope this helps and thank you for reading!